Finding My Way Back

Everyone struggles in life. Sometimes it takes us down a dark path, but we must always keep trudging along to find the way out.

Lately, I have been feeling down. I lie. It has actually been over a year now. I have kept my distance from friends, my house is becoming a disaster, and I have to remind myself daily how great I have it even though life isn’t what I dreamed it would be.

I usually keep my true self away from my blog posts, but not anymore. For the past year, I haven’t blogged much nor have I written as much as I would like. This past weekend I decided that enough is enough. I have been walking in mud for months trying to find my way out to happiness, but it is time to find that vine and pull, yank, swing myself immediately to the right path.

Book rejections, my mother’s Alzheimer’s, and my struggle with fertility have been like these tremendous weights on my shoulders all consuming my thoughts. At some point, we have to just break free and take charge. So this is me taking charge.

I am revamping my blog. My next Children’s book has been written; I just need to edit, edit, rewrite, and edit again. The three books I have written and published are all FREE for the next couple days! Summer is great for reading! Just click on FREE!

As for my mother’s Alzheimer’s and my infertility? I just need to admit to myself that it is what it is. I have guilt that I cannot provide my son siblings and I have guilt that I cannot help my mother in all the ways she needs due to time and financial reasons. I also have embarrassment about the infertility and have not spoken much about it. I am done not speaking. It is time to yell about something that people should feel like they can share. The time is now. I just need to do the best I can, appreciate all that I do have, visit my mom as much as I can, and just live.

If you are going through struggles as well, please remember you are not alone. There is a light at the end of that long dark road. I promise. You just need to keep walking or running. But don’t just sit in that darkness and hope you will find the way out. You must make yourself get up and get out. If you don’t have the energy, please tell someone. Tell a friend. Tell a family member. Call a counselor. You are not alone and we can all get through this. ❤️

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Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

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Summer Reading

As a special education teacher, it is always bittersweet when summer finally arrives. I am beyond ready for the break from IEPs, meetings, and SOL drama. However, the thought of leaving “my 1345dd2bf88196ac03c7636ebe9d3db0kids” is heartbreaking. I call them “my kids” not because they are “sped” but because during those 9-10 months of school I spend so much time with them helping them in their subjects, helping them with their testing anxiety, chatting about their days, giving morning hugs as they walk in the front door from the bus and receiving afternoon hugs as they rush by me to leave school for the day. Some are not “sped”, some are. It really doesn’t matter. They are all reminders of why teachers teach. Continue reading → Summer Reading