Summer Goals

Summer is my time to destress from a school year. As a special education teacher, my patience is tested throughout the year as I help students deal with their emotions, academic struggles, and just getting through the day. I love my job, but I do need the summer to be myself again.

This time of the year is greatly needed. My son and I love our time together. We have lazy mornings, snuggle time, videogame time, but we also have reading, non-technology time, and just good old-fashioned time together outside at the park, pool, beach, and, of course, our back yard. ❤

Summer is also my time to find my creative side again. Some school years take it away a bit as my mind focuses on IEPs, lesson plans, and meetings. So this summer I am so excited to let my imagination come out again. To do that, I have set some goals for myself:

  • Make time to read.
  • Write every day.
  • Create a rough draft children’s book for each week of the summer.
  • Blog weekly.
  • Read more.

This is my first full week of the summer. I am so excited to just read, write, and have fun. Until next time…

Taming the Inner Critic

My inner critic is harsh. Let’s just be brutally honest here: my inner critic is a true mean-to-the-bone, socially unacceptable bitch.

You know the type: They put you down every chance they get. They blame you for everything wrong that happens. Why did the boyfriend leave? You. Why did you not get that job you applied for? You. Why do you doubt yourself? You are not good enough, she would reply. Yet she would say it with a sailor’s mouth with such vulgar that you don’t want to be in public with her.

There are some days where I can control her, but there are also some days where she knocks me to the floor gasping for air with tears staining my face.

I have always had a harsh inner critic. I used to cave in and believe her that I wasn’t good enough. I just took it. I believed the negative. I drowned in it, yet I also let it be my air that I needed to breathe every day.

Then one day, I decided to live the life I wanted…no matter what.

So my goal was to prove her wrong. For example, I fought her about being a teacher. I am quiet, could be a hermit, and am so very scared to talk to a crowd. I am now in my 14th year as a special education teacher.

My point is that we are our own worst critics. How do we not drown in our own criticism?

Well, I had to reteach myself how to talk to ME. I had to tell my inner bitch that I envied her free way of talking; that I will take that energy and turn it around; that I will prove her wrong for she is just doubt talking. I needed to give life a real try because life could be over in a second.

Life needs to be cherished…not hidden from. Life needs to be lived… not sheltered. We all have our demons, our mistakes, etc. Let those mistakes be a stomping ground on our inner bitches.

Just remember to tame your inner critic instead of banishing them. I still need her spunk and her devilish ways after all. Life is more fun that way. 😉

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

In a previous post, I mentioned how I was going to start posting more and writing more and blah blah blah. Well, that was MONTHS ago.

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Photo by Eugene Shelestov on Pexels.com

 

Apparently, life got in the way yet AGAIN!  School started up and my schedule is insane. My son has been sick more than usual for the first two months of school. My mother, who is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s, has deteriorated so much lately….it is just heartbreaking. I just got caught up in the lows of life.

My recent visit with my mother was the worst ever. There never seemed to be a moment where she recognized me as her daughter. At one point, she asked me “Who is your mom?” It was so hard to say the next two words:  “you are.”

It broke me.

After that visit, I became determined.

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Determined to make myself write again. Determined to exercise and take care of myself more. Determined to be a good example for my son. Determined to truly live life to the fullest because life really is crazy short.

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So here’s to livin’ life to the fullest.  ❤

 

The Powers of Negativity

I am no stranger of thinking negatively…from thinking I am the most unattractive woman around to thinking that the stranger next to me is a serial killer. Although, really, that last one might be more of a paranoid side effect of reading too many Ted Bundy true stories, along with living in Tallahassee, Florida years ago which is home to his last brutal killing. (Yep. Criminal Justice dork here.)

The point of all of this is that the power of negativity is strong so you must walk away from the dark any way that you can. Appreciate positive moments for they can drive the negative thoughts away in a second.   Continue reading → The Powers of Negativity

Sayonara Thirties!!

This is the last week of my thirties and good riddance! I used to think my thirties were the best decade: I got married, bought a house, fell in love with teaching, self-published two books, was given an awesome opportunity to go to San Francisco for a photo shoot (DHC customer spotlight), and had the miracle of my son who makes me smile and laugh EVERY single day. photo

However, there were also MANY mistakes made throughout those years. I regret nothing, because mistakes make you stronger; mistakes make you learn; mistakes are just inevitable.  Continue reading → Sayonara Thirties!!