inawritingday

Mother, Teacher, Writer, Dreamer.

Everyone struggles in life. Sometimes it takes us down a dark path, but we must always keep trudging along to find the way out.

Lately, I have been feeling down. I lie. It has actually been over a year now. I have kept my distance from friends, my house is becoming a disaster, and I have to remind myself daily how great I have it even though life isn’t what I dreamed it would be.

I usually keep my true self away from my blog posts, but not anymore. For the past year, I haven’t blogged much nor have I written as much as I would like. This past weekend I decided that enough is enough. I have been walking in mud for months trying to find my way out to happiness, but it is time to find that vine and pull, yank, swing myself immediately to the right path.

Book rejections, my mother’s Alzheimer’s, and my struggle with fertility have been like these tremendous weights on my shoulders all consuming my thoughts. At some point, we have to just break free and take charge. So this is me taking charge.

I am revamping my blog. My next Children’s book has been written; I just need to edit, edit, rewrite, and edit again. The three books I have written and published are all FREE for the next couple days! Summer is great for reading! Just click on FREE!

As for my mother’s Alzheimer’s and my infertility? I just need to admit to myself that it is what it is. I have guilt that I cannot provide my son siblings and I have guilt that I cannot help my mother in all the ways she needs due to time and financial reasons. I also have embarrassment about the infertility and have not spoken much about it. I am done not speaking. It is time to yell about something that people should feel like they can share. The time is now. I just need to do the best I can, appreciate all that I do have, visit my mom as much as I can, and just live.

If you are going through struggles as well, please remember you are not alone. There is a light at the end of that long dark road. I promise. You just need to keep walking or running. But don’t just sit in that darkness and hope you will find the way out. You must make yourself get up and get out. If you don’t have the energy, please tell someone. Tell a friend. Tell a family member. Call a counselor. You are not alone and we can all get through this. ❤️

rainbow

Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

img_8595-1 

If you grew up similar to me, then you grew up on cinnamon sugar toast on Saturday mornings after watching cartoons while your parents slept. Man, I still love it today even in my 40s. This morning, I woke up and decided to make doughnuts! However, I was out of regular all purpose flour AND out of confectionary sugar. Some recipes called for bread flour but then frying the doughnuts. I didn’t want to deal with hot oil today.

Disclaimer: I have never made doughnuts, but I did recently buy a doughnut baking pan on a whim. So that must mean I am qualified.

So hopefully, if you are a doughnut newbie like myself, this post will help you out. I found a great recipe and had to tweak it due to my lack of readiness and my desire to not have a dozen doughnuts to add to my hips! Once you hit 40, it really does happen. So anyways, here is what I came up with. If you make doughnuts soon, please comment and let me know. Or if you have a better recipe, please share it! I am so excited to try more delicious recipes soon!

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup bread flour (it was more chewy than I wanted…next time I will use all purpose flour)
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 egg (yeah this was difficult to do halvsies with! haha!)
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1 tablespoon melted unsalted butter
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Ingredients for the topping:

  • 2 tablespoons melted unsalted butter
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray doughnut pan with flour/oil mixture or if you are like me and don’t have that handy: spray the pan with Pam then sprinkle flour on it.
  2. Stir the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt together in a big bowl.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk the egg, milk, melted butter, and vanilla together.
  4. Stir the wet with dry ingredients until just combined.
  5. Spoon the batter into the doughnut baking pan. Put just a little more than 3/4 because I didn’t and the doughnuts ended up not as round as I would want. You live and learn.
  6. Bake for 17 minutes.
  7. Let cool for 5 minutes. While cooling get a bowl for the 2 tablespoons of melted butter and another bowl to mix together the cinnamon and sugar topping.
  8. Tap the doughnuts out onto a sheet pan.
  9. Brush melted butter on the doughnuts. Or you can dip the doughnuts in more melted butter for a really buttery/sugary doughnut.
  10. Sprinkle the cinnamon and sugar on top.

You might want to add more cinnamon sugar if you want it really sugary. I didn’t; however then my son refused to finish the doughnut. Yes, you read that right! Crazy world we live in.  🙂

I LOVE kale salad. I know, I know, it isn’t for everyone, but once I realized how to make it, I fell in love with it.

  • The trick for me… is to wash and pat dry the kale, then (in a big bowl) drizzle olive oil on it (maybe a tablespoon’s worth or more depending on how big the salad is).
  • I then massage the oil into the kale.
  • Then I do it a little more until the leaves are all oily.
  • Sprinkle some salt on top and let it sit for a few minutes. I usually do all this and then fix the rest of dinner so my kale usually sits out for 15 or so minutes.
  • Then when you are ready, just throw your toppings in and enjoy! I like to cut up some celery, carrots, cucumbers, add feta cheese, and a little bit of Hidden Valley Greek Yogurt dressing which is the bomb!!!!!

Let me know if you fix it; I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Image result for writing motivation

Last week I went on vacation and my writing slump felt like it was coming to an end. Then I realized that maybe I hadn’t been paying enough attention to myself. Maybe I was neglecting what my body and mind needs. Suddenly, the school year was over and I was on a beach without a care in the world, enjoying the breeze, listening to my son’s laughter, my husband next to me, and inspiration hit. Sometimes we just need to take a breather and life becomes manageable yet again.

Continue reading

This year was supposed to be my YEAR of WRITING, but something happened. Life.

The truth is that I let life overwhelm me for a bit.

So in an attempt to help me put every worry in it’s place and remember what is really important in our short lives…here are my confessions:

Continue reading

 

 

unnamed-1

This new year is a year to feel positive, to be determined, to work intentionally, and to live life to the fullest. Where did all that come from? Well…

The past few months of 2016 have been hard for me.

  1. Towards the end of 2016, I felt like I had lost my way when it comes to writing. I had gotten some negative feedback about some work I had submitted and received more rejections. I have had rejections in the past…many. That is the life many writers have in hopes that one day someone will say “YES!” I am fine with that. I am fine with working to improve myself; in fact, that is how I feel everyone should be no matter what career you are in. As a writer, as a teacher, as a mother, there is always room to grow and learn. It was just too much to take at once with everything else.
  2. I was struggling with my special education caseload this school year. It has taken me half a school year to truly undimages-2erstand my students with autism, to make that connection with them, to understand how best to help them learn because each person with autism is completely different than the last. Finally, though, I am able to laugh with them, make jokes with them, take pride in their work, miss them when they are gone, and they are becoming more and more successful in their school work.
  3. I have also been struggling with TRYING to be positive about my mother’s condition. I don’t  speak of it often actually. I don’t want people to feel sorry for her or us; I don’t need that. I don’t know what I need, but pity is not it. Perhaps just understanding.  It has taken me a long time to even say: My mother has Alzheimer’s. It is a weird condition where if you haven’t experienced it, then you might not quite grasp what happens. Unfortunately, I have been through it as a child helping my mother and trying to keep her happy as she dealt with her father going though Alzheimer’s. So when she was diagnosed, it was hard to admit. It was hard to believe. It was even harder to see.

imgres-4

I tried to tell myself to be positive, yet over the holidays..she didn’t make her key lime pie. It sounds strange to say. It sounds trivial. However, to me, it was a breaking point. It had been her tradition for decades. She never missed a holiday without making her pie. It sent me the message that I can’t pretend to be positive any longer. She isn’t the same mother who is overly dramatic (in a good, giddy way), who loves shopping and feels every fabric in the whole damn store (it used to irritate me, now I miss it), who laughs so loud that you can hear her from across a large room or even a large restaurant. She is the same loving mother, but she is different. She isn’t as bubbly, can’t recognize who I am in a picture, doesn’t call like she used to, can’t drive by herself, and cannot tell you much of what she has done in the past day or week.  I think I miss her laugh the most though.

alzheimer-66ev0n5vzxoph9rfxozycvsxvnoidks7m7r759ugul6

 

After spending the holidays with my mother, I realized that I can MAKE myself be positive or I can BE positive….about everything:

  • I can miss my mother’s old ways or I can celebrate the mother I had and enjoy the mother she still is. I will not waste our time together feeling sad about something we cannot change…I will not waste our time together.
  • I can raise awareness and help others in any way I can find who have Alzheimers and/or family members of those with Alzheimers.
  • I can be upset about reviews or rejections or I can continue to write for me. I can remember my love for writing and take it from there.
  • I can work as hard as I can as a special education teacher and find ways to help all my students be as successful as they can be.

Somehow, everything feels better so far 2017. I CAN do this. I am laughing more, talking to my mother more, and my creativity is coming back. This will be THE year…THE year of positivity, THE year of appreciating what I have (not what I have lost or might lose or what I don’t have), AND THE YEAR OF WRITING!!

imgres-1

I am taking part in a writing/photo challenge on Instagram and am loving seeing everyone’s feeds! (Please follow along and join me! @inawritingday)

unnamed

Are you taking part of a challenge? Comment and let me know!! Or comment and let me know how your 2017 is going! I would love to hear! 🙂

 

imgres-2